They shifted the cycling machines to make room for our yoga mats. The room did not feel right to me. The energy was off. Maybe it wasn't room, maybe it was me.
After completing the eight week course, I walked away from my practice. A year later I found another class at a different location. I liked the way the instructor conducted the class. The room felt better but not quite right.
When I moved to my new home. I found a Yoga center and instantly I new I was in the right place. Maybe I was ready. I would attend class on Sunday mornings. Perfect grounding to face my life each week.
My teacher would offer give a little lecture before we moved into our poses. "Do No Harm" was always the mantra.
In addition to the classes, the school would offer seminars. They were for students in the teacher training program. Most were open to the public.
Like me, my classmates were weary and looking for something, someway to deal with their lives and the state of world affairs. It was cool and scary at the same time being in a room with other control-freaks and wounded souls.
It was great to see the diversity of ages, cultures and experiences. If only, I would have found this when I was younger? I would wonder at times. I let that notion go, because I am here now.
During the Christmas holidays, I attended a couple of the Wednesday night seminars. After one class, the Head Yogi, my term not his, approached me about enrolling in the teacher training program.
My initial response, was No Flipping Way. With my schedule the last thing I needed was somewhere else I had to be.
With an easy smile, he challenged, "you are attending the seminars now. "
Because I want to, not because I have to" I replied, trying to hide my annoyance. " Besides, I have zero desire to teach. I have been in leadership roles since ah forever," I continued. "Not a problem" we will tailor the program for you needs."
Corporate had booked my calendar through February. Ugh "I left him with a we'll see in March."
There was something tugging at me, that this thing would help me work through my need to injury my former boss, now producer. Why does this man push my buttons? Leaving my job would be easy. But I knew I had to deal with my response to him before I moved to the next stage of my life. The universe has an uncanny way of forcing you to learn life's lessons.
You know exactly where this is going.
I began the program in March. Keeping up with written assignments has been an issue only because of my lack of discipline. (An assignment is waiting to be completed as I am writing about it.)
But this has been very good for me. I have experienced several A-HA moments through embracing compassion and forgiveness.
I am eating better because I have slowed down and listened to my body. I've met some really nice people.
My family and friends told me I seem to be a peace. Well, maybe because I am, sort of.
I will be more at peace when I finish this month's assignment.
PS I no longer want to wound my producer.....most of the time.