Meet me in St. Louis

The sun is setting on St. Louis as I sit in a Borders beside my hotel. Work brought me to this part of the country. After two days of the insurance version of American Idol, I am parked here nursing a Seattle's best medium vanilla latte, just cooling out.

To my left are two 20 something men discussing God, the bible and the need to pray in order to manage their lives. Their bibles are open and to the ready.

To their right, a french tutoring session is taking place. The instructor is a artsy middle age woman. Her student appears to be a eager high school student. A Veteran college student is pouring over a text book. His camouflage shirt, erect posture and short haircut reveals his past or present. The military is huge in this part of the country.

All are taking advantage of the free WiFi. A different time and place my guess is these activities would have occurred in in a library. This is the community hub, judging by how the clerk assembled most peoples orders with a smile and without coaching.

I am guessing that I am the only traveller, interloper in the room. It has a positive energy.

I return home tomorrow. I may have to travel to Iowa for this account before the end of the year but it should be the final business trip for the year.

Work is work. I've grown bored with this component of my life. I am grateful to be employed but I am working through what I want to be when I grow up. The economy was a convenient excuse for me to be complacent about my career. I have the opportunity to manage a captive but I'm not sure I want to stay in this business. It is nice to know that option is available to me.

I have a home yoga practice but it is time for me to return to that community.

Through a spiritual career counselor, a strong yoga practice, I will find my now.

It's all good......

Vacation from the crap

Since I was walking around with a constant fire in my belly, taking a break from politics was critical to my mental and physical well being.

The weather has been fabulous in the Philly metro region. This year I spent quite a bit of time at the pool. It is amazing how kids try to kill each other with their parents watching. The life guards are not paid enough.

I hung out with my nephews, Eagles training camp and the Philadelphia Art Museum. New friends by extension, a friend's posse of in-line skaters. Let's be clear, I meet them for food, two wheels is enough for me. 

When I am in town, I generally ride at least 15 miles per day before I venture into work.

Of course my baseball team, we were knocked out in the semi-finals in a rather ugly loss to our nemesis, groan. The tournament in Florida should serve as a forum for redemption.

Love the Olympics. Michael Phelps.....8 gold medals, hooray for him, hooray for us.

I really didn't mind Bush hanging out in China. When he was over there, he was leaving my country alone.

I am pecking away, in my tiny room in St. Louis waiting on a client, the official end my summer.

Drury Inns seem to be popular in this neck of the woods. It's clean, not good for the claustrophobic.

Quick Action to Save Irresponsible Corporations

h/t Brendan Calling

Last week, I spent two days of my that I will never get back, in Leadership Meetings. Because of my position, I was selected seven months ago to participate. It is at these sessions, the brain trust of our company rolls out corporate drivel for us to feed to our staff, washed down with appropriate amount of Kool-aid. 

The latest drivel was the pending payroll changes. It was initially rolled out a on a mandatory conference call a week before our Leadership Session. Unlike many employers, when your employment starts, a week of pay is not held.  We get paid on the 15th & 30th. The new system

would be bi-weekly.

The perky Stepford Human Resource representatives informed us this change would occur Sept 1 of this year. Why is this happening? Some bullshit about state regulations prohibiting our current pay structure. 

The questions were fast and furious:

Why now? 

What percentage of the population are affected by these "state regs"? 

What planet are you living on? 

Who can afford having a week's pay held?

The response: Crickets

You could tell they were generally surprised by the push back. A peasant uprising. What wasn't stated was a reminder, that there was a budgetary short fall of $6 million dollars that was disclosed at our January meeting. You connect the dots.

Fast forward to last week's meeting. The unintended primary agenda item was the payroll change.

Participates who rarely speak up led the discussion. Finally, our Senior Vice President turned to me and said, "You've been quiet, your thoughts?"  Struggling to keep the profanity out of my response.

"The decision makers are millionaires, this is an inconvenience for them, for my people, this presents a hardship. This smacks of class warfare. It has been a week and I can't put a positive spin on this one. While I'm not even close to being a millionaire. But, I am blessed to make enough to be inconvenienced."

Our SVP is number four on the org chart. After trying unsuccessfully to tell us how honorable our CEO and President are, to angry glares, she took a break.

After the break, she informed us, she scheduled a conference call that afternoon with these wonderful men to address our concerns.

The next morning, we learned, that the payroll change has been put on hold "for now".

Just like Congress stepped up to help irresponsible corporations on the backs of the taxpayers, my execs were trying to clean up their budgetary shortfall on the backs of their employees.

Desk Rage?

I'm not surprised by this article. You spend most of your waking hours with your coworkers. You don't work in a vacuum. If there is home drama, it naturally spills over to the workplace.

The key is try to manage it within the human and human resource framework. Sometimes, these are mutually exclusive.

Since our upper management and clients are crazy, I try to keep our office as sane as possible.

Being rude or mean to each other is simply not tolerated. We have too much to do to have internally bickering. My gang knows petty sniping will get you tossed quicker than making a professional mistake. E&O insurance will take of an error.

There is no coverage for being an asshole.

Tales from the Corner office

One of my field staff lost her father last week. I always send flowers or a plant. Before the grand corporate merger, I would get an employee's address from a local HR rep. She directed me to corporate. After explaining the circumstances, twice, I get this e-mail a week later:

"I was asked by HR to clarify the process of requesting employee gifts / get well flowers / bereavement, ect. that require the use of employee addresses. In the past there may have been less controls on responding to manager requests for employee personal information, however, with recent changes on the legal landscape regarding employee privacy we would like protect our managers by keeping this info secure in HR. That way there is no question if an employee feels their info was mismanaged. We can gladly respond to any requests to send flowers on your behalf and use our corporate account. I apologize for any inconvenience this may cause.
Thank you for your understanding."

Of course I took out the names, before I shared. I almost fell off my chair. I wonder if this trio who prepared this e-mail really read what they wrote.

I'm not sure what world they live in, but I have never heard of an employee suing an employer for expressing their condolences.

The long weekend could not come soon enough.

Ugh

Five bucks per gallon?

When I'm not traveling to hot spots such as Topeka, Kansas, I have a whopping six mile daily commute. Today my safety director sent me text photos of his final tally at the pump. The realtity of my staff's commute hit home.

Did you know most pumps are programed not to exceed $75? It took two photos to capture the fill-up. He lives 20 miles away and drives a Pilot.


I knew I had to huddle the team to come up with a plan to ease their hurt. Our white board session was revealing. One member of my team commutes 55 miles one way. Several members live near each other. It never occurred to them to carpool.


With technology, my disciplined employees can work from any where.



After kicking around everything from carpooling to working from home we came up with a couple of possibilities.


We settled on a four day work week for most. For the bill processing team, they can work from home.


If my memory serves me correctly, gas was $1.45 when the Supreme Court handed Bush his first term. I'm just sayin'

No trespassing......

Greetings from Topeka! I must confess that is a salutation that I NEVER thought I would write. I am here on business. Of course, getting here was a quest. No direct flights. After a rocky transition flight from Chicago to Kansas City, I took a 90 minute shuttle ride to the Ramada Inn. (The choices were limited.)

I was the first to board. I was greeted by a middle-age bespectacled blond Richard the Roadrunner driver. He immediately asked me why I was standing where he picked me up. "Your dispatcher told me to stand outside and just wave when I saw the van." He assured me that he could drive through just about everything including tornadoes and flying cars. I assume he was kidding. I hope he was kidding. The next to board was a middle-aged man dressed in shorts. Richard asked him if he was military. Nope, he replied and retreated to the back of the van. A well dressed twenty something passenger hopped on board. He registered on line. Richard struggled with Raj's name. He looked at him and queried, "visiting our country I will not attempt to pronounce your name." Raj stared at him and said "No" and retreated to his seat. The final passenger was, how can I say this, an older woman. Without skipping a beat, Richard asks her if she is eligible for the senior citizen discount. She glared at him and said "NO." We rode quietly to Topeka with rap music playing in the background. I was surprised by the choice of music. The homes were non-descript. Mostly, browns and grays interspersed with farmland. Billboards advertising bus trips and casinos doted the landscape. The heartland of America.

The welcome to Topeka, Kansas sign is planted in the lawn of the local prison. The prison sits opposite of the State Capitol. Did I mention the other sign in the prison? 

No trespassing.....

When we arrived at the drab hotel, I had to wonder if the prisoners got the better accommodations.

Stepford Employees

Wow h/t to natasha@ pacific views

The goal of most employees is to survive to the weekend. When you arrive at work, you hope that your access key/code still works.

Whew! Cleared that hurdle.

Then if you are lucky you run the gaunlent to your office.

Whew! Cleared that hurdle!

Sit down and your log in still works!

Whew! Cleared that hurdle!

Then you spend the day responding to the gazillion e-mails from clients and upper management.

Whew! Cleared that hurdle!

Find time for food and a potty break.

The check arrives the 15th & the 30th. The name of the company changes weekly, but as long as your name is on and it clears, its all good.

Hopefully, your commute isn't too painful but for most it is a daily grind.

But you are supposed to be grateful that your gig has benefits and has not been outsourced......

Define Handout

To say the climate at my gig recently is amusing is an understatement. The gentleman, whom I affectionately refer to as the Chief Executive Producer's official title is Mentor Producer. He doesn't even know what that means. Find that title on a normal org chart.

MP joined our company approximately two years ago as COO. His mission was to change the footprint of our division. The only change he managed to produce is the reduction of staff, clients and ruined morale. Eventually, he lost his title, some income and a whole lot of corporate respect.

He brought in two bozo who were contracted to streamline the process and ensure his new footprint was realized. They simply stole money and completed nothing. By the way, the bozos are part time DC based academics which is important to this little tale.

In a reflective moment, he decided his vision was good, the execution was a disaster. Yes, he even admitted to voting for Bush, twice.

I digress.

He determined the bozos have that academic DC "handout mentality." He further opined "they expect to be paid without doing anything."

Fact: MP is a 61year old white male degreed buddy of our president.

Fact: While he suffered a 40K pay reduction, he still makes 165K plus benefits.

Fact: Corporate only recognizes folks who have managerial duties or a book of business tied to their name/salary.

Fact: To protect his buddy, the president handed him my division's clients as a "book."

Fact: MP is the producer on accounts that have never met him.

As he was droning on, I began to laugh hysterically. He was generally stunned by my reaction. What's so funny? he inquired.

"I guess handout in is the eyes of the beholder," I offered. Suddenly, I only heard crickets on the end of the phone.

With that I informed him, I had to service his clients.

When in Doubt, Be Nice

I manage a cross section of employees: nurses, claim adjusters, clerks, IT, and producers. The most challenging aspect of my job is to get these folks to respect each other.

All of these positions are critical to servicing our clients. All believe they work "harder" than the person in the next cube.

None of them have figured out that we exist purely to make the shareholders a boatload of money, while they will be lucky to get a 3% raise.

Amazing.

Justice for Janitors, Justice for US

All too often these service providers go unnoticed until their work in inadequate or not there. If you work late you encounter them. Rarely is English their first language. Why? Because they do the jobs blacks refuse to do.

What is not discussed is the labor intensive work provides low pay, no health benefits, sick or vacation time.

The CLASS of people these folks clean up after have the bank of time to take a day off to take their sick child to the doctor. This CLASS of people have a bank of PTO because they are pressured whether real or imagined not to take time away from making money for the shareholders. When they actually take time off, they are still connected with the electronic monitoring devices called blackberries, cell phones and laptops.

The janitors are more prone to sustain occupational injuries. Even though it is ILLEGAL for employers not to provide workers compensation coverage, employers rarely SPEND the money on this insurance. Furthermore, these claims go unreported for FEAR of losing their job.

The common link between these CLASSES of employees is both are afraid to take time off from their jobs. Like it or not those remaining in the middle tier have more in common with the janitorial staff than they do with the shareholders. The owners of both types of companies make money off of our/their labor.

So the next time you are wrapping up your twelve hour day, look up from your computer screen and say hello to your fellow
janitor.

THEY at least know their role.

Too important to sweat the details

The basic CEO defense of “I was too important to worry about accounting details” would have become very popular if it had worked.

You got to love Gregory Reyes, CEO of Brocade Communications. My guess is he will look smashing in his prison garb.

China executes executive

This is taking termination to a whole new level. I have to believe there will be more to follow. In the meantime, a work improvement plan for other executives should include driving to the store on their tires, eat the contaminated food; and brush their teeth with the tainted toothbrush for 60 days. If they survive that period, they should be sent to work for Cheney as his day workers.

Sacrificing the future for today's profit

Having lived through three restructuring fiascoes, in the spirit of EBITDA,this is all to familiar...

Herbert: Teen Summer Nightmare

One of my responsibilities is to hire people. For many of our entry level jobs, I look for young people to fill the position. It gives them an entree into corporate America. I get the much needed mind numbing tasks completed.

I showcase other staff who started where they are and the professional and financial progress made. When they see my corner office, I let them know that everything I am asking them to do, I have done. Depending on the circumstances, I kick off my heels, roll up my sleeves and join in.

By employers working with teenagers in the summer, work life basics can be instilled early. Showing to work, daily and on time.
Office etiquette, time management and project completion.

More importantly, it takes the kids off the street. It gives them structure.

If we get them young, EMPLOYERS will not have to teach these skills to their employees in their late 20s and early 30s.

You are investing in our future.

Management Sucks

My child was four years old when I separated from her father, my husband. Due to life's circumstances, I became self-employed. With the help of my family a flexible schedule, taking care of my daughter was never an issue.

In my current role, my primary responsibilities is to manage a staff. Most of these employees either have children, are trying to make children or are the "go to" member of their family when problems arise. Family is important. Having a life outside of work is mandatory.

My management style is less rigid than many of my peers. My staff knows that we have to take care of our clients or WE don't have jobs. There are times when staying late or working a Saturday is necessary. If they work during their workday, overtime should be the exception not the rule.

However, life happens. Cars don't start, kids or parents get sick, friends and relatives die.

I have found that when the employees do not take advantage of my good nature and the good will of their peers, there is no drama.

. When one young lady buried ten members of her family in six months, she had to go.The key is not to take advantage of the freedoms granted.

The bitterness arises when people feel like that they are being "played."

Sick Day

Most mornings, I consume too much coffee, then I ride my bike for about 10 miles along a local trail. I don't use an Ipod or a headset. I just suck up the sounds of the outdoors. The singing birds, rustllng of the leaves and morning traffic. This practice has helped me deal with my staff, boss of the week and my clients.

When I rose on this beautiful morning I could barely lift my head. After four days, my cough was not as painful. My natural voice is a cross between Laureen Bacall and Kermit the Frog. Some men find it sexy. The past few days I sounded like my Daddy.

I really shouldn't complain. I can't remember the last time a cold knocked me on my backside. I have a cold. It will run its course. It has forced me to slow down. My life has become saner in the past year but by choice I have an interesting life.
I have gotten better about overbooking. I am no longer so nuts that I had to schedule down time. My BF still cracks up about that drama. So do I.

The timing is actually good. Yesterday, our corporate e-mail went down. Three months ago, if this would have happened, the abrasive, biker, IT guru would fuss but our down time was kept to a minimum. No one knows what or how it did it but he kept us working. He somehow was deemed expendable.

When we notified the outsourced helpless desk, they called Dell. We still have no e-mail. Think about this for a second, our outsourced help desk contacts another outsourced help desk. Adding to the joy of it all, we had a meeting yesterday with our Chief Technology Officer and the Corporate Risk Manager. The CTO thought we were pulling his leg when we told him the system was down.

The now Chief Executive Producer, who had this outsourcing brainstorm, just sat there nursing his chronically wounded ego. Before the meeting he was pouting because he was not formally invited to the meeting. He found out about the meeting by chance. I assured him that he was reading too much into the incident. Just because upper management stopped inviting his predecessor to mandatory meetings was a mere coincidence. This was the gentlemen who has been demoted twice in the past two years but still makes 55K more than me. I digress.

If I wasn't sick, I would not have been able to enjoy the beautiful weather as I sit on my underused patio.

Death of a Financial Planner

Ten years ago, I met my financial planner. He pitched for my Mens Adult Baseball team. He pitched well until his body began to fail him. When he wasn't in a uniform, he dressed like a mafia Don. They guys called him the Ultimate Male. UM was always busy, busy, busy. His deals were big, big, big. At the end of the day, he sold life products. Not sexy, but an honorable gig.

Talking to UM was a struggle at times because it took him forever to make his point. UM was a bright guy. The problem was he always felt compelled to share his wisdom. Always. UM set up my Simplified Employee Pension. Whenever, I would get nervous about the market, he would remind me that I was investing for the long term. Breathing was always a good idea, he gently counseled. To date, his wise counsel has served me well.

After Shrub was elected the second time, our quarterly sessions became harder to get through. I have become less patient with those who actually voted for the Jackass. Last year, I told him to just mail my statements.

A couple of weeks ago, he called, very upset. He was just escorted from his building. Why? UM failed to meet his numbers. Typical termination procedure. It is bad enough to lose your job. The "walk of shame" is really not necessary.

He worked for this brokerage house for 30 years. Like the beautician whose hair looks terrible, he did not plan for his future.

UM never expected to retire. The UM who shared breakfast with me was tired, angry and defeated. For the first time, he looked older than his years. He reminded me of Dustin Hoffman in the "Death of a Salesman."

UM always suggested unemployment is always the fault of the unemployed. He has become one of those people. His career is tied to his identity. A terrible habit by most career types. (Of course, I don't know what that looks like).

Suddenly the UM, spoke of his working class roots. He never spoke of his father before. I think I would have enjoyed meeting him. As a human, I think it is terrible what happened to him. OJ ran to his black roots after he was " persecuted". It amazes me how unemployment prompts people to shed their Republican ideology. In time, UM will discover that he is not defined by his work.

I hope he finds peace and a job.

Walk of Shame: Terminated employee returns

I hate firing an employee. As bad as the process is for me, it is worse the the terminated employee.

The lastest employee, CW was employed a mere eight months. Forty five of those days, she was on a work improvement plan. I have been in the working world for almost 30 years, I have never encountered a human so openly hostile.

There are some basic office etiquette rules:

> Greeting your coworkers upon your arrival. A basic "hello" will suffice.
> Not initially copying your boss on correspondence to your peers
> Using basic english
> Not fighting with your clients
> Actually performing your work

When CW joined our organization, she informed me that she would have to move and change schools for her children. I gave her the flexibility to take care of home as long as she got her work done.

It took about thirty days before her peers wanted to kill her. I called her in to chat with her. I suggested that she lighten up. CW did inform me that she came from an environment where there was little client interaction. She was given a certain "authority" to work her files. However, copying her boss on her e-mails was mandatory. Considering that she came from a competitor with a similar environment, I was a little surprised.

She was generally stunned that we were having this conversation. What emerged from our conversation was that she has worked in a mostly white environment. She was always treated poorly because she was Muslim, the situation got worse after 9-11. My office is culturally and socially diverse. We have everything ranging from a black flamboyant homosexual to an Egyptian. Even my minister in training wanted to choke her. She admitted no one was treating her poorly.

Not a good sign. She is an African-American woman with three kids, I wanted her to succeed. I advised her that we are a team. If she checked her attitude at the door, she would be fine.

The noise calmed down a little with her peers. Then the provider and client calls began. I tried without success to work with this woman.

What is remarkable that she has worked in our industry for seven years. I have to wonder if her previous managers were afraid to have the conversation that we had for fear of being called a racist. Not holding her to the same standards as her peers to me is a worse form of racism.

I digress.

Thursday was beautiful and the day before payday. HR sent CW's termination package which included eight weeks severance pay. The promise the company would not challenge her unemployment is part of the deal.

I scheduled the meeting with her late in the day. I let the rest of the staff go early to enjoy the day. The thought process was prevent her from the "walk of shame." That was the plan.

I met with CW with my associate. The encounter was brief. I explained the terms of the termination. I specifically informed her that "tomorrow is your official last day but since I have given you your check you do not have to come in."

CW got up, shook my hand, cleaned out her desk and left. It appeared my associate took it harder than she did.
Next I did all of the funky stuff that comes with a termination, notifying staff, clients, and making the security changes.

End of story right? Why would it be?

The next morning, I get an e-mail from my lead adjuster informing me that CW showed up to work. My receptionist buzzed her in before she checked her e-mail.

Happy F@#$ing Friday!

I just returned from a workout, so I had to bathe, as to not worsen an already funky situation. I called my associate to share the fun news and to see if he was closer to the office. Because of the nature of our relationship, the mere call from me, he knew something wasn't cool. He was as stunned as I. All he said was WTF???

Even with a shower, I accepted the fact I would get to the office before him.

In the fifteen minutes, this process took, thoughts of an angry exchange to "Office Space" scenarios ran through my mind.

On the way to work, I called HR and informed her of the situation. She just started laughing. I thanked her for her help and hung up. Good grief.

When I arrived the office was very quiet. Very unusual for a claims office. I went to her station and asked her to "please leave."
" I didn't want to leave a mess" was her response. Please keep in mind I had removed all but one account so that she could not do anymore harm during her final days of employment.

She had to walk by all of her peers who quietly turned away. Even though they were glad to see her go, it was sad how it ended.

She had to take the "Walk of the Shame."

Best Careers 2007

It's funny my career is not listed. BUT my former boss' job is the first one on the list...
That's just not right.