Roadkill

AAh middle age. My daughter has embarked upon creating domestic bliss and motherhood. She snatched adulthood. I took my hands off of her journey. Both of us have grown by my letting go.

Your children are not  your children.

They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you.....

-Kahill Gilbran

For the first time in my life, I am embracing and enjoying my now. Although in my recent past I have talked of living in the moment, I am finally trying to do it. 

I have not only returned to Yoga but I am enrolled in the Teacher training program. I enrolled more to work on me than with the goal of teaching a class. It is teaching me to pay attention to everything. To what people say, my words, attitudes, what I consume, how I spend my time and with whom.

The 2004 election & Shrub changed my life. The love of my country, forced me off the sidelines. I had to get involved. I became a progressive activist. I went through DFA training; became a local Committee person; served as a Treasurer for a Township Supervisor candidates; a wrote checks for the candidates I supported. Finally, I took on leadership role in a progressive think tank. How do I have time to work? I love it.

Along the way I have encountered some intriguing folks. Enter stage left, a candidate for the 2008 election. The party and office are irrelevant to this story. 

I usually attend political events with my dear friend. On this evening, I attended this event solo. I arrived fifteen minutes after the start time and the place was packed. It was the final main local event before the 2007 election. As soon I walked in, our eyes met. We both smiled. It was a weird instant chemistry. The crap really bad Lifetime movies are made of but it was stunning. Have I met this man before? Who is this handsome man? I have met so many people at the events, I struggled to remember. 

I chatted with several of my neighbors, fellow hell raisers and the candidates. When the host gathered us in the living room for the speakers, there was a seat on the couch next to him. He saw me leaning against the wall and offered me seat. At first I begged off, but when I saw that all the candidates would speak, I accepted the invitation. OK, I accepted because he was a hottie and I was wearing heels. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

I thanked him and we introduced ourselves. He handed me a few of his palm cards. "You seem to know people, you can help me with my campaign." He confessed to watching me with intrigue throughout the evening. I was grateful for the seat because ALL of candidates spoke, along with a few party regulars.  It was amusing, because he seemed to move closer as the evening continued.

As our conversation continued after the speakers, several people came up to kiss his ring. He was a political player. If I got involved in his campaign, it would be my first state election. We switched cards and promised  to stay in touch.

I guess a week or so passed before I heard from him. We exchanged e-mails and he invited me to a local fundraiser as his guest. The governor was slated to appear, not a bad place to be.

He said, he would be late but informed his chief of staff to seek me out until he arrived. He showed up as the event was breaking up. He worked the room like a pro. Hugs, kisses and handshakes. When he completed his mission, we went to a local pub to have a snack.

We talked for hours. He is a self-made millionaire, smart funny, on the sane side of politics.

He will serve his constituents well. It would just lovely, if not for.....drum roll, please.... the wife and kids. It is the usual crap, no sex or intimacy at home. He doesn't want to leave for financial or political reasons.  So predictable, so not my drama.

I left the pub thinking that I would support his campaign but that would that....

Surprisingly, he called, wrote and even showed up on my doorstep. I give him credit for persistence. He thought it through. He was not concerned about a possible scandal. To his surprise, I did not want to get involved in his fantasy driven melodrama. "If you get bored, you can always walk away with no hard feelings" he suggested. I wonder if he actually listened to words flowing from his mouth. It never occurred to him that I didn't want a scandal. My now, was meaningless to him. Helloooo, there is a person here. He was setting up a scandal before he was elected. Dumbass

Any time you get naked with another human, a piece of your soul is left between the sheets. 

I recommended that he find his way back to his wife. Maybe there is a reason, she doesn't want to sleep with him. 

Or, find someone else to cast in his Lifetime fantasy. 

In these manufactured relationships, the woman playing the supporting role is usually the roadkill left under the tires of the late model BMW. I am so not interested.