Living my Yoga

I guess it was about three years ago the first time I attended a Yoga class at a local Y.

They shifted the cycling machines to make room for our yoga mats. The room did not feel right to me. The energy was off. Maybe it wasn't room, maybe it was me.

After completing the eight week course, I walked away from my practice. A year later I found another class at a different location. I liked the way the instructor conducted the class.  The room felt better but not quite right.

When I moved to my new home. I found a Yoga center and instantly I new I was in the right place. Maybe I was ready.  I would attend class on Sunday mornings. Perfect grounding to face my life each week.

My teacher would offer give a little lecture before we moved into our poses. "Do No Harm" was always the mantra.

In addition to the classes, the school would offer seminars. They were for students in the teacher training program. Most were open to the public. 

Like me, my classmates were weary and looking for something, someway to deal with their lives and the state of world affairs. It was cool and scary at the same time being in a room with other control-freaks and wounded souls.

It was great to see the diversity of ages, cultures and experiences. If only, I would have found this when I was younger? I would wonder at times. I let that notion go, because I am here now.

During the Christmas holidays, I attended a couple of the Wednesday night seminars. After one class, the Head Yogi, my term not his, approached me about enrolling in the teacher training program.

My initial response, was No Flipping Way. With my schedule the last thing I needed was somewhere else I had to be.

With an easy smile, he challenged, "you are attending the seminars now. "

Because I want to, not because I have to"  I replied, trying to hide my annoyance. " Besides, I have zero desire to teach. I have been in leadership roles since ah forever," I continued. "Not a problem" we will tailor the program for you needs."

Corporate had booked my calendar through February. Ugh  "I left him with a we'll see in March."  

There was something tugging at me, that this thing would help me work through my need to injury my former boss, now producer. Why does this man push my buttons? Leaving my job would be easy. But I knew I had to deal with my response to him before I moved to the next stage of my life. The universe has an uncanny way of forcing you to learn life's lessons.

You know exactly where this is going.

I began the program in March. Keeping up with written assignments has been an issue only because of my lack of discipline. (An assignment is waiting to be completed as I am writing about it.)

But this has been very good for me. I have experienced several A-HA moments through embracing compassion and forgiveness.

I am eating better because I have slowed down and listened to my body. I've met some really nice people. 

My family and friends told me I seem to be a peace. Well, maybe because I am, sort of. 

I will be more at peace when I finish this month's assignment.

PS I no longer want to wound my producer.....most of the time.

Serenity Now

Because of my stressful life, my family doctor suggested, yoga or drugs. The whole zoned out approach to my life never had much appeal to me. So I opted to go the Yoga route.

I have been accused of being a quadruple" A " workaholic control freak. A harsh assessment. There may be a grain of truth to the label. Just a grain. What is so wrong with seeking spiritual enlightenment in a week?

Like any practice, you are to find the right form of yoga for your spiritual journey.

The teachers I encountered ask who you are and what you do for a living. Most of my classmates hailed from corporate America. The men in my classes were there with their wives or with the encouragement of their ex-wives or coworkers.

My first teacher looked at me with his piercing blue eyes and told me that the point of the class was not to be competitive and to work at sane pace. He warned me that if he sensed me being competitive, that he would make me face the wall. I tried to muster a smile but I did find myself looking away with a pout.

When I relayed this story to a friend of mine, he asked me "What color is the wall?"

Once I permitted myself to slow down, I found myself really enjoying the classes. The kinks in my body are worked out through a series of poses. By focusing on the poses it stills the mind in preparation for meditation.

After eight weeks with Francois, I moved due to life's circumstances, which left me without a teacher.

Once I settled into my new community I found a home to practice my yoga. To my delight, Francois was a student of the teacher who founded this institute. The same firm philosophy and gentle approach. You hear horror stories of psycho-nazi instructors that push folks and injuries occur.

I usually go to class on Sunday morning. It helps me through the week.

Each class begins with a word or concept to focus on. Non-violence is a concept that seems to surface in every class.

I never considered myself to be violent per se but I discovered, that when I make mistakes I have found myself assaulting me verbally. Wow. It is something that most of us do. A whacked version of humility or self-evaluation. We would never say to someone we love the things that we say to ourselves in a typical guilt ridden thought loop.

I found that each week, the word of the day always strikes a cord. One week it was aversion. According to my teacher, annoying people are sent into your life to teach you compassion. I guess that explains my current boss.

On this Christmas Eve the class was packed. I guess I wasn't the only one who needed a break from the holiday insanity.

Today the word was intention. My intention now and into the future is not to permit anyone take my joy.

I have let too many people or circumstances steal my joy. I recommend yoga for anyone trying to get through the day.

By the way, the wall at the yoga studio was baby blue.

Merry Christmas!